Defensive and Doubtful, Ugly and Uglyer

 Hello lovely blog readers,

Just when you think you have something worked out it rears its ugly head and you are back in the trenches fighting it off with God on your side!  It is like with each new change in life needs to be reminded of who we are called to be.  Taking each new situation and surrendering it to God.  This post is a reminder that God is at work.  That he loves me too much to leave me where I am at my low points.

The past few weeks I have heard myself at times and been in shock.  Just when I think I trust God I show doubtfulness.  Just when I think I rely on what God says of me and who he says I am, and not others (or even myself), I show defensiveness.  Its not a fun time people.  The double d's of Defensiveness and Doubtfulness may not be your battle; you may have some other combo. Maybe you can relate with what I am trying to say in this post. I need God.  I am one ugly annoying person with out him working and his spirit moving.  I know that I can't just fix these dangerous double d's alone. It is a battle far too out numbered if I was to fight alone.

I want to encourage you and myself today by this post. May we surrender and let God dig down to the root of our problems.  May he prune out dead and dying branches.  Can I be humble enough to allow it? Can I cast off my pride before it brings a fall? While getting all these thoughts out this morning I see that my double d's probably start from a deep down root of pride.  That makes me feel even worse. But hallelujah, Jesus took all my sin and shame.  Now I am free to say yes to him in hard learning moments. To say yes to the changes he calls me to, to the level of surrender he calls me to. Its not on my shoulders to carry. Its not on yours either if you surrender all you are to Jesus.

From my heart,

Erika